Letters to the Editor
News and views and clues and spews!
Tampa, Florida and the rest of the universe!
Nolan's Newsstand
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Matt's Rail
Vol. 1, No. 8   This edition is for May 8--14, 2000
The Monkees, Jaws, The Hats, oh my! The Leavenworth leveler:
Road rage, Jaws, and Hats memories from Mr. Massachusetts...
Mike's Rant
Greetings from the land where the corn is as high as an elephant's eye...........like the song goes, everything is up to date in Kansas City!!  Buckle up.......here we go:
SAY GOODNIGHT GRACIE
Sad to report the passing of (2) screen icons.  Earlier this week, Steve Reeves, the former Mr. Universe who shot to stardom in a series of "Hercules" films, passed away.  Ironically, he passed the same week as the film "Gladiator" opened to good reviews and box-office.  Today, (Sunday), Douglas Fairbanks, Jr., son of the screen's original swashbuckler, passed away at age 90.  One of the last legends from the early days of Hollywood, Fairbanks and his first wife, Joan Crawford, were two of the original "STARS" of early, post-silent, Hollywood.
HEY HEY, WE'RE THE MONKEES
Caught a great episode of the Monkees this week (for those of you who can get the Fox channel out of New York City, they run a Screen Gems TV block of "The Partridge Family" and "The Monkees" every week day). (And for those who don't--say, in Tampa--you can watch a one-hour block of the Monkees early Sat. and Sun. mornings at 5-6am and 4-5am, respectively.---N) It started with Frank Zappa, in Mike Nesmiths' wool hat interviewing Mike, who was wearing a false nose and wig.  They had switched identities and the play between the two of them was great.  Obviously they had a great respect for each of their preferred musical tastes.  Also cool was Burgess Meredith, obviously made up as the Penguin, sitting in the audience while the boys performed.(I remember that episode...sorry I didn't know it was on, I woulda taped it!---N)
NOTES FOR MATT
FYI:  There is NO music at all in "The China Syndrome."  And why do you have to put 2 inches of Breakfast Blend coffee in twice?  Why can't you just put 4 inches in at once.  I think when the beans are all ground together it won't really matter!  Thanks for the kind words.  Glad I have been remembered for "NOT."  Much better then "We're all gonna die right now!"  Nolan, I don't remember Bill and Gilda (Todd and Lisa Lubner) saying "NOT," but I could be wrong.(My time-displaced memory acting up?---N)
GIVE THIS KID A CONTRACT
Hope you don't mind a little parental bragging this week, but my son had an incredible high school game this past Thursday and I thought I'd share. (By all means---N) In the span of 3 innings he threw a kid out at the plate from Center Field (he had him by 15 feet), made a great, diving (body horizontal to the ground in midair) catch and hit one off the fence in straightaway center field.  There is nothing like the feeling of saying, "That's my kid!"  Matt, your autographed ball is on it's way.(If Phillip gets his mug on a baseball card, I want an autographed one!---N)
HEY ABC, KISS MY (oops, sorry, the censors won't allow me to say it)
Here is my post to the ABC message board after they totally insulted the legend that is "JAWS":

What could have been something special was nothing but a 3 hour commercial for the upcoming DVD.  Sorry to say that I had seen  every one of the "NEVER BEFORE SEEN" clips over 5 years ago on the laser disc.  They didn't even put all of the extra scenes back in!  And why not show the movie in WIDESCREEN?  And what about that editing/censorship.  Can you believe that the network that lets Dennis Franz say words like "asshole, dickhead and balls" would only let the word "ass" be used once????  "Bastards"  became "Bozos," "Christ" became "God." What a major disappointment!!

Please note, dear readers, that the above was the 3rd version of my letter.  The first two were much more angrier. (You're at your best when you're ranting! The first 2 must have been a hoot!---N)
[MIKE'S BLOOPER WATCH. I noticed on this presentation: when the man (Ted Grossman) is knocked out of the boat by the shark, he is barefoot. As the severed leg drops to the ocean floor it has gained a tennis shoe! Where's the continuity girl!]
And now, the HATS..............Chapter 3....................the first sessions:
Nolan and Corey had been jamming together at Corey's house for some time when I dropped by one Sunday.  After goofing around on some stuff, we did an impromptu version of "Surrender" by Cheap Trick.  We sounded so good (to me anyway) that we called Matt on the phone and played for him.  During the song, Matt passed the phone to his brother, Mark, who remarked after the song that we sounded ok and that my vocal's weren't "too bad." (La-de-da!---N) Of course, a couple months later, while Matt and I were doing our Bee Gees impression, Mark would sum me up with the words, "Poor disillusioned kid!"  Liking what he heard, Matt joined us the next week and the four of us would entertain Corey's folks with such diverse tunes as "Cat Scratch Fever," "Cover of the Rolling Stone" and a variety of Beatles and Monkees tunes.  Slowly but surely we built up a little repertoire and would jam for hours.  Some of these moments were captured on Corey's little cassette recorder, and sometimes when I'm home on the computer (like tonight) I slip one in and listen.  So many memories wash over me.................Nolan and I doing our best "Beatles" accents (Do you think we'll make the Sullivan show?), Corey's dad cheering us on after every song, Matt just launching into a song that no one had ever heard of, then wondering why we couldn't "keep up."  But my favorite clip has to be the silence following Nolan's impromptu performance of the classical "Maleguena."  A silence that was followed by thunderous applause.(Uhh...boy, I'd love to hear that again!---N)  I apologize if I am getting sentimental here, but these times truly were the times of our lives! (Absolutely!---N)

Next week.....................Mike and Matt "sail away" to work for Uncle Sam!

  It was all so long ago and yet the memories can seem so fresh. Well, most of the time. I'm glad Mike has such a good memory, he helps me remember things I should never have forgotten.  But the days in that kitchen, trying to cobble together some semblance of a band will be a memory I can never lose!  Only the details sometimes escape. But Mike's always there to spot me!
  Trouble is, gentle readers, I'm not a very rational man. Very deeply emotional and, some would say, disturbed. I was so panicky and over-wrought so much of the time in my band days that a great deal of it has been, I don't know, SUPPRESSED or something. I'm learning to deal with a great many issues thru these columns.---Nolan.
Greetings one and all....
Have a broad spectrum of things to talk about so let's get going!
HIGHWAY MADNESS
If you've read this column before, you undoubtedly know of my disenchantment with "drivers" (and I use the term loosely) on the highway. So you'll understand my confusion as to why ANYONE would place a greater emphasis on the cell phone conversation than what's going on around them at 70 to 80 miles per hour. Today, I witnessed one knucklehead on his phone, in the passing lane, and the middle lane as he yapped, yapped, yapped. He put much more thought into his chatting than his driving, because he failed to realize the MASSIVE line of cars behind him. This would be bad enough, but to top it off, he blatantly ignored the polite and eloquently justified "flashing of the high beams" and the angrily manifested "'honking of the horn". To his credit, he did not ignore the middle lane, as previously mentioned, because he decided to visit it about every fifteen seconds.  I have to get on my knees and thank God tonite that He has given me the ability to use my brain, something too many folks forget to do.  (Oh, YOU were the one honking!---N)
AUTO STUPIDITY
While we're on the subject of the metal dinosaurs, I would be remiss if I didn't convey my belated sympathies to the parents of those eleven children who died back in 1998 when they accidently locked themselves in their parent's car trunk and baked to death.(I don't remember that one. Was that in Boston?---N)
Why bring this up now?  Well, I discovered last nite that the whole episode could have been prevented if the auto makers had acted when warned of this possibility.  Turns out a woman and her husband were kidnapped and locked in their trunk. They lived only because they owned a Lexis (which has a standard door handle in the car trunks), and were able to escape. This woman launched a campaign to have all auto makers make this available. She found a man who made a "trunk escape safety device" that cost about a dollar and 99 cents and they still refused.  Why????? Because they felt the few people who died every year weren't worth it!!!! THEY CAN KISS MY BIG WHITE BUTT!  Although this should never happen again, the price of this knowledge was way too expensive.(And yet, why are we still surprised?---N)
FORRY UPDATE
Previously, I mentioned the legal struggles of the great Forry Ackerman so I'm inclined to mention this again.  Forry, former creator and editor of Famous Monsters of Filmland magazine, is in the battle of his life to save his love and true domain. So loved is Forry, that the legendary Ray Bradbury took time from his recovery to go to court and fight for him.
Please visit  http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/2084/index.html  to find
out more about what is happening to the true Dr. Acula.
JAWS 25TH ANNIVERSARY
What an utter insult to arguably one of the greatest film achievements of all time.  How ABC had the gonads to hype this "advertising ploy" as a special event is beyond me. I am in TOTAL agreement with Mike on this. The "never before seen" scenes were actually seen on ABC back in 1979, when JAWS first hit TV. False advertising on ABC's part to draw in those of us who know better only served to piss me off. I had set up my VCR so as to not miss any of these great new scenes, but alas, I turned it off after the first 40 minutes. Fortunately, I don't have to wait to see the real "never before seen" scenes as I have them on video, as well as the letter-boxed version of this classic... which quickly found its way into my VCR so as to make all right with the Spielberg universe. Certainly this movie has more than just theatrical value to me as it was the driving force of my friendship with Mike, which led to meeting Nolan, Corey, Scott V. (I had already known Scott G. for quite some time) and the wonderful HATS memories.
THE HATS
Imagine my happy suprise to find out Mike has a tape of one of our sessions. I'm certain both Nolan and myself would appreciate a copy of that! (I probably have one  SOMEwhere, but God knows if it's still playable. Be careful with it, Mike!---N) I, too, remember standing next to Nolan with my mouth agape as he ripped into one of his seering leads. Can't say that I've experienced such a feeling of unworthiness as I had that day! A true rock guitar virtuoso. (Thank you. Once again, I'm speechless! ---N)
That's about it for now, so take care everybody,
Matthew
Now's as good a time as any to admit publicly that Matt was the most talented singer/songwriter we ever had. And I had a lot of 'em. All good performers, too. All had their strengths and weaknesses.  I was kinda hard to get along with, hard to please. Still am.
I'm pleased now, tho, and slightly amused, that my friend's memories of the History of "The Hats/Blade" is as rosey-colored as it is. We didn't always see very eye-to-eye. HOWEVER...
As many scars as we bear thru life, I am humbled and grateful beyond description that, in the long run, the positive outweighed the negative and I was involved in all these pivotal events that shaped our lives.---Nolan.
"Matt's Rail" is © 2000 by Matthew Drinnenberg
"Mike's Rant" is © 2000 by Michael A. Smith.  Visit Mike's webpage!  Mike's email.
Write to me at: Letters to the Editor

 

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