Mike's Rant
Number 29. This edition is for the week of October 9--15, 2000.
"Mike's Rant" is ©2000 by Michael A. Smith
Hope you had a good week. Lot's o' news and a good old fashioned rant! Enjoy!
Hello gang. Some sad celeb news, legal justice is carried out and boy does the government have my panties in a bunch over movie ratings. Plus my Top 10 songs that mean something to me.........can't wait to start, can you? Here we go:
HAPPY 60TH!
This Monday, October 9th, would have been John Lennon's 60th birthday. Two very different items dealing with Lennon took place this week. First, due to the incredible success of the "Beatles Anthology" television special and (3) Double CD releases, the fab 3 got together and for the first time has told THEIR story in their own words. Lennon's contribution comes from his many interviews (printed and not printed). Most of the stories you may have heard before, but not from the boy's point of view. As Paul McCartney has said before, there are only four people in the world who know what it was like to be a Beatle. The first words in the book are Lennon's, who asks cryptically "What can I tell you about myself which you have not already found out from those who do not lie?" Also, a New York City judge turned down the parole request of Lennon's assassin Mark David Chapman. Cited in his verdict was a letter from Yoko Ono who feared for the safety of both herself and Lennon's two sons, Julian and Sean.
WHO'S GONNA DRIVE YOU HOME?
Sad to report the passing of Cars cofounder and bassist Benjamin Orr, who died last week at his Georgia home of pancreatic cancer. Orr, who sang lead on such cars hits as "Drive" and old HATS standard "Just What I Needed" (Chuckle chuckle---N)had been diagnosed six months ago. He had just completed a new album with a band he formed with former .38 Special guitarist Jeff Carlisi. Their schedule debut concert will now go on as a tribute to Orr.
Also this week, two time Oscar nominee Richard Farnsworth, who, along with Wilfred Brimley, would be my choice to play my grandfather if they ever made a movie about my life, died from a self inflicted gunshot wound at his New Mexico ranch. Farnsworth had known he had terminal cancer for several years and, according to his fiancee, could no longer take the pain.
Shortly after the depression, high school dropout Farnsworth went to work as a stable boy. Two men from Paramount came by looking for ponies and mentioned they needed someone who could ride horses on film. For the next 40 years, he was a well known face in scores of Westerns. His first major role, as Jane Fonda's father in 1978's "Comes a Horseman" earned him an Academy Award nomination for Best Supporting Actor. He was also known for his roles in "The Natural" and "Rhinestone." His five word summation of Sylvester Stallone's singing talent, "Why that was scary, son" is still one of the funniest moments I've ever seen on film. His final role, that of Alvin Straight, a man who rode his lawnmower across the country to visit his ailing brother, in "The Straight Story," earned him a nomination for Best Actor. At 79, he was the oldest actor ever nominated in that category.
KIDS! WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH KIDS TODAY?
Now that I have the time, I want to sound off on the recent senate hearings involving the major film studios. For years I have listened to parents blaming everyone but themselves for their children's actions. Back in 1994, a 17-year-old Pennsylvania boy lay down in the middle of a busy highway to prove how brave he was. Too bad he never got to hear his friends congratulate him, because he was instantly run over and killed. At the time, there was a film called "The Program," which featured a scene where the college quarterback, to prove to his players his toughness, does the same thing. Of course in the movie, the cars don't come any closer then 10 feet to him and he gets to lead his pals onto victory. Though it was never even proven that the above mentioned kid even saw the film, the family sued Disney (the film's distributor). Though never accepting blame for the tragedy, Disney did the unthinkable and recalled over 1500 prints of the film and edited out the offending footage. (Yeah, I remember that---N) The last time I ever remembered a film being pulled and edited after release was "Exorcist II," which was pulled out theatres the Thursday after it opened and returned the next day with almost an hour missing. (WHAT?? I DON'T remember that!---N) When I was a kid, I used to watch the Three Stooges regularly, and I'm sure I mastered the eye poke and fist smack as well as the next kid. But we were children then, seven and eight years old. Your five-year-old watches "Beavis and Butthead" play with matches and then burns down your trailer? Oh well, maybe you can blame it on the show. Young children imitate what they see. But the ultimate blame belongs to parents. For the government to hold filmmakers responsible for children seeing their product is ridiculous. Let me point out here that the rating system is NOT a law, merely a recommendation. Also let me point out that the company I work for is one of the more diligent on enforcing these recommendations. (Regal Cinemas, I believe?---N) I will NOT allow a child under the age of 17 into an R rated film unless that child's parent or guardian (brother, sister, aunt, etc. over the age of 21) sees that movie with them. I can't tell you how many times I see parents take their young children (between six and eleven) into such R rated films as "Pulp Fiction," "From Dusk 'til Dawn," "Urban Legends II" and "Scary Movie." And God bless the people that come out afterwards, seek me out and question me as to why there is such a young child watching this stuff. They can only join me in shrugging my shoulders when I tell them that I can't prevent them from going in with their parents. My son is 16, and I am very cautious about what he watches. I have always agreed with the old George Carlin adage...........I would rather my son see a naked lady on screen then watch somebody get their head cut off. (I'm with you!---N) If all goes right in his life, may he one day see a naked lady and NEVER see someone get their head cut off. (And when you meet that naked lady Phillip, ask her if she's got a naked older sister...for Uncle Nolan!) And I don't keep him out of all "R" films either. Films like "Saving Private Ryan" are rated they way they are for a reason. I questioned taking him to see "American Beauty," but the overall quality of the film helped me make my decision. I'm lucky that in my job I often get the opportunity to see movies before they come out. That gives me the opportunity to decide whether I want him to see it or not. If so, I go along with him. I can't tell you how many parents I have argued with because I wouldn't allow their 12-year-old child to see an R rated film. The usual argument is "it can't be any worse then what they hear at school." Jesus!! Where does your kid go to school? I want to make sure I don't live in THAT neighborhood. Hollywood can market movies all they want, be it to senior citizens or children. A responsible parent will care enough about their child to know these films are rated for a reason. If the government wants to point fingers, let them point in the right direction!
LISTEN TO THE MUSIC
Well, I finally put together a top 10 list of songs that when I hear them bring back a special memory, be it good or bad. Sorry Terence, but most of these are that Top 40 junk! Guess I was born 20 years too early. :-) In chronological order, they are:
HELLO, GOODBYE - The Beatles: This is the first record I bought with my own money. Growing up in a house that played nothing but Dean Martin, Andy Williams and Jerry Vale, I consider myself lucky enough to have lived the eight years prior to this purchase.
IN MY LIFE - The Beatles: This song pretty much says it all. I have a standing request that this song be played to my friends at my funeral. Like the song says, "In My Life, I've Loved Them All."
CAT'S IN THE CRADLE - Harry Chapin: My parents had just split up when this song came out, and the lyrics about the boy wanting to spend more time with his dad really hit me. Even now, at age 40, the song is still a reminder. Last week was homecoming, and for the first time my son "borrowed the car keys."
SIR DUKE - Stevie Wonder: This is quite possibly the HAPPIEST song I have ever heard. A celebration of the music that inspired him, Stevie sings with his heart and soul. When I'm down, I pop this on the turntable and the opening horns just make me smile.
SHADOW DANCING - Andy Gibb: Driving home after seeing a screening of "American Graffiti," Matt and I were singing along with this song on the radio when, during a rainstorm, I was cut off and ended up hitting a telephone pole. Much more to this story, which may someday appear in a movie about my teen years.
TWO OUT OF THREE AIN'T BAD - Meat Loaf: I had this wicked thing for a girl in high school who pretty much played me along for two years. Discretion prevents me from mentioning her name, but Matt dated her sister and hopefully broke her heart! She had me wrapped around her finger and she knew it. The lyrics "I want you, I need you, but there ain't no way I'm ever gonna love you" pretty much summed her up. She moved to New York after high school, and I lost touch with her shortly after I joined the service. 25th High School Reunion is coming up in 2003...........hope she makes it. Maybe she'll let me get her some punch! (The things I learn in these columns...---N)
AGAINST ALL ODDS - Phil Collins: At the lowest point in my marriage I was driving my wife to work when this song came on. I had heard the song plenty of times before. I didn't even pay attention to the lyrics until I looked over to see her crying. At that moment I realized what a bastard I had become. I haven't listened to this song since that day. In fact, I went out to the concourse during a Phil Collins concert so as not to hear it. Told you not all of the memories are good ones.
MODERN LOVE - David Bowie: My only major relationship since my divorce was with the woman this song reminds me of. At the time this song was popular, she would come visit me at work. Almost like clockwork, this song would play on the radio and she would tell me that she knew "when to stay in...............get things done."
OH NO - The Commodores: Released way before it became a memory. This song signaled the end of me and Miss Modern Love. Having been stood up for a date (which you really don't expect to happen after almost four years together), I was driving home and saw her car in another man's driveway. I pretty much humiliated myself by knocking on the door and introducing myself to the new beau. They're married now, so I guess it was all for the better. Anyway, as I got in the car to drive home, this song came on. Needless to say there wasn't a dry eye in the house.
CENTERFIELD - John Fogerty: The first tune I play on opening day, it reminds me that baseball is back and all is right with the world. It is also my son's chosen position, and hopefully one day Fogerty will re-cut the song as "so Say Hey Willie, Phillip Smith and Joe DiMaggio!" And now for an Honorable Mention:
UNTIL - Matt and Mike: this was the first SERIOUS musical collaboration between Matt and I. We had written some pretty goofy songs in the past, mostly ones cutting on our friends. I wrote the lyrics to this while on a troop train in Germany. I had just gotten married and missed my wife terribly. I sent them to Matt and within a week we had a song that was quite a hit among the soldiers in my unit. If Matt ever decides to use the talent God gave him to record (Keep dreamin'--N), I hope this makes the cut.
Well, gang, enough for this week. Eager to see other lists of memorable songs. Hope you enjoyed mine. Until next week.....see ya! It's what I've been saying: everyone deals with life's pain in different ways. And you have had your share, my friend.---Nolan.
Matt's Rail
The absolutely, positively last word on Terence's Tirade!
"Matt's Rail" is ©2000 by Matt Drinnenberg
After reading Mike's Rant and seeing how he "hopefully" put an end to Terence's Tyranny, I will conclude with the following: I don't see how my editorial in any way places me in the same category as Terence in his metamorphasis into Mike in his original rebuttal. As I will state AGAIN, I agree with most of Terence's choices in his top ten. My problem was with the ignorance that has reared it's ugly head yet again.
After learning that Nolan, Mike, and myself are musically challenged and not as expansive as himself in Terence's latest editorial, (issue # 28---N) I've come to the happy conclusion that most of what he says deserves absolutely no merit whatsoever. Naivete can be a beautiful thing sometimes, but unfortunately sometimes not. This is one of the beautiful times, at least from my perspective. The absurdity in the ignorant statements is so obvious to anyone who knows us, that it pretty much gives Mike and Me a slam dunk in this entire episode. Thanks Terence!
I can see, Nolan, why you like this kid. He's just like we use to be. (My grey hair still has your names on it, yes.---N) He also has a decent mastery of writing skills, and will probably be an excellent songwriter someday, if he isn't already.
Well, I'll keep this short and sweet as the week is over and see you next time. Till then....God Bless and take care. Matthew