Another decade, another remake. The Count of Monte Cristo was remade and re-released this year to the eager literate public. Would this company get it right? Would they be the first to accurately reproduce this popular classic by Alexandre Dumas? In late January, we got our answer. And it was a resounding NO.

However, to this reviewer, I would have to give it a MAYBE. Forget what you've read in the paper. This is at least close. Somewhat. MAYBE.

Now in all honesty, I have been reading this novel, simultaneous with seeing the movie, but at the time I had seen it, I could still pinpoint its accuracies, or lack thereof. For those of you not familiar with this classic tome, The Count of Monte Cristo details the story of Edmund Dantès, a sailor and first mate on the Pharaon, a French ship during the reign of King Louis XVIII, in that time when he had defeated Napoleon Bonaparte and confined the eccentric Emperor to the Italian isle of Elba. Louis was ever vigilant and worried about the Emperor's return and thus sets in motion all of poor Dantès' troubles.

On their most recent journey, their captain falls ill and before he dies, he delivers a letter and package into Dantès' hands with the express order to hand it over to someone on the emperor. He is then given another letter (to go to a Monsieur Noirtier) and Dantès returns to the ship and soon they return to Marsailles, where the jealous 2nd mate, Danglars begins spreading rumors about Dantès, most true of which point to the letter and the visit to Elba. Meanwhile, Dantès goes ashore, happy as a lark, proposes to his girl Mércèdes and meets up with enemy number two: Mércèdes' amorous cousin Fernand. He wans Mércèdes for his own and by god, he hates Dantès, as Mércèdes is clearly in love with him. She says yes, and he returns to his father's house only to find the old man destitute and in debt to enemy number three: Gaspard Caderousse. The man is dismissed, and Dantès proceeds to announce his engagement, thrilling his old father to no end. The next afternoon, a large engagement banquet is held, packed with Dantès friends from the Pharaon.

Into the middle of this bursts the police (gendarmes, as they are called in French) and our dear Dantès is arrested and charged with treason. He has no idea what's happened. But we do. Caderousse, Fernand, and Danglars have, for various reasons of jealousy and hatred, framed Dantès as a Bonapartist, all because his dear departed captain handed him a letter, and the jealous Danglars was eavesdropping. He is arrested, and incarcerated in the Chateau d'If (an alcatraz like prison) for 18 years before he escapes, finds the treasure of the Borgias and returns to Paris to take his revenge.

And there lies the novel. The movie, however merely skims. We open on Elba, with Dantès (James Cavaziel) and Fernand (Guy Pearce) coming ashore to immediately fall into a gun battle with Napolean's men. They are taken in by Napolean, the mess is straightened out, they have dinner with the emperor, they talk with him, they spend the night under his roof. Dantès has a nice little private chat with the emperor, at which time, Napolean hands him a "harmless letter" to deliever to Paris for him. In the movie, it is not Danglars who sees this, but Fernand. (see above) Problem #1 with said script. Fernand was in Marsailles while all this took place. He could not have been in Elba. Oh, well....

On they go to return to Marsailles and by now, we've slipped back into the book and it is Danglars who complains about Dantès, while Fernand can only think with one part of his anatomy (ahem) and runs off to find Mércèdes (Dagmara Dominiczyk) and immediately begin hitting on her. Dantès catches up with them and off Mércèdes goes with him, much to Fernand's consternation. They sleep together (ahem, see above, NO!!!) and there's a sappy little scene about not needing a ring, which is actually a lot sweeter in the book. The next day finds them with Dantès' father and in swoop the police to drag Dantès away.

He is taken in front of the prosecutor, Villefort, whose father, you will recall, is a Bonapartist. The man examines Dantès and the letter that was conveniently found in Dantès possessions and is startled to see whom it is addressed to. He assures Dantès this is all a big mistake and lets him go only to change his mind two seconds later.

Dantès runs and goes to Fernand for help who catches him in a sword duel and holds him at bay until the police arrive (ahem, NO!). Dantès is dragged off, ploppd in a dingy and delievered to the Chateau d'IF, into the hands of a sadistic warden [played, I think by Michael Wincott] who beats him and promises more beatings on each anniversary (ahem, again, sadistic warden and his beatings are totally invented for the movie).

However, Dantès is stuck. He knows he's been falsely accused, and hopes Fernand and Danglars will prove this true. Meanwhile, his father, Mércèdes and Fernand go to the prosecutor and beg to have Dantès released. But when the girl and father leave, Fernand congratulates Monsieur Villefort on a grand performance. They are in cahoots.

Years pass and then Dantès is surprised to see the flagstones break. A man (Richard Harris) pops through the floor and grimaces at him, dissappointedly. Turns out, there's another man in a cell very close to his that has been trying to tunnel out. Unfortunately (or fortunately, for Dantès), he was going the wrong way. He introduces himself as Abbe Faria, an exsolider turned monk (no) who proceeds to become Dantès best friend and teaches him to read and write in several languages, teaches him math and science and turns over to him a map to a large fortune, supposedly once owned by the Borgia family, all in exchange for Dantès' help in escaping.

Faria dies in a tunnel collapse (not quite--he dies of something else in the novel), and Dantès sees his chance to make his escape. He climbs into the shroud the jailers have made for the old priest and they toss him off into the ocean. Of course, the sadistic warden is there, and in the first of many triumphs, Dantès drags the man down with him. (Again, not in the book)

The next morning, Dantès washes up on nearby beach to find himself just in time to be put to a knife fight with a crazy Italian smuggler. Of course he wins, he let's the man live and is taken on by the smugglers.

After many years at sea, he the main smuggler Jacopo, make it to the island wherein Faria hid his treasure, they claim it (um, in the book, Dantès goes alone) and Dantès becomes the Count of Monte Cristo, returning to Marsailles and buying his way into society, and right back into Fernand and Mércèdes' life, unrecognized, and unsuspected, especially since he saved her son's life.

He goes on to completely ruin the Count and Countess, while trying to avoid Mércèdes' "Don't I know you?" questions. His goal accomplished, Danglars, literally hanging, he finally admits his identity to Mércèdes and she leaves Fernand financially ruined (thanks to Dantès' schemes that had Fernand stealing from "The Count of Monte Cristo") and flabbergasted when she says that her son is not Fernand's but Edmund's. (Remember that non-existent sex scene from the beginning of the movie? ::snort::) There's an obligatory sword fight between Dantès and the already-a-loser-Fernand. And finally triumphant and possibly happy, Dantès returns to Chateau d'If with the intention of destroying it and all is well....

Well, all in all, I loved the movie, but no. Hollywood strikes again. See it, but don't expect to replace the movie with the book, if you're to do a book report on it! LOL It is a really fun movie, nonetheless, and James Cavaziel does a wonderful job as Dantès, Richard Harris makes a crazy Abbe Faria even crazier, and Fernand/Guy Pearce is just mean as hell. Despite its obvious flaws (including a completely deleted subplot (well, one character from it has a walk on) that shows the charity of Dantès, despite his years in captivity, and including the fact that the producer/director made Mércèdes into a SLUT, instead of the shrinking violet, proper woman she is), it holds up to its period settings well, the cast is fabulous, and I absolutely enjoyed it and can't wait to own it. Unfortuately, for the lack of coherence to the novel, I have to give it only three stars.