OK, I guess it's time to clear things up for Drew "I was personally offended by The Enlightment" Reiber. Listen now, Drew. Yes, yes, put down that copy of X-Men. OK, good. Maybe I didn't make myself clear on several points since my "arrogance blinds me".

Drew: One, being that these fanboys are largely bored with the superhero genre, it’s gotten to the point where it irritates them.

The Enlightened one: Well, it could be argued that their comics have top writers on them now, and theirs are much more mature, well-written stories. But, c'mon, they are still superhero comics and always will be. You can inject as much maturity as you want into Superman or Batman, but after awhile, you have to laugh at how ridiculous that is considering these guys wear tights!

Translation -- Batman and Superman are among some of my favorite superheroes. But if I want maturity, I'll read Ghost World.

Drew: Two, they feel threatened by the idea that the content, style and format of independent comics are not (and possibly never will be) the dominant form of comics. It’s not enough that they don’t have to buy the other kinds but they also deeply desire for the rest of the 4-color world to be bound to their preferences. Sick, sad and quite predictable. I’ve got a phrase for you and those like you, Terence, one you may find familiar. To quote one of my favorite stand up comedians, It’s a side dish, folks. Always has been, always will be.

The Enlightened one: The art is better---no perfection here, which is part of the charm and personality of them. The stories are more personal, not hampered down by pre-exisiting continuity and they are not rushed for a monthly deadline. Huh? What? I don't get to read an issue every month like Batman? No, sorry fanboy nerds. But great things come to those who wait while manufactured tripe comes to the impatient. I've been reading Batman since 1989--trust me, I can wait if I had to. The comics I'm talking about are pure, unabashed art.

Translation: They are not for everyone, including people who want a comic every month. They have no deadline, so how could I ever in my right mind (or your right mind for that matter) ever want these comics to be dominant. That would make them the opposite of what they are.

Drew: ...hordes of varying audiences rushing to their local store to buy a movie about two kids debating about what to do with their lives after high school.

The Enlightened One: They purposely draw the way they do, write the way they do to remove themselves from the cash box of the big companies.

Translation: We don't want hordes. Just those that appreciate great art that is a personal expression, devoid of any commercial fullfilment.

Drew: In the end, they’re still just about heroes fighting villains. In the end, your so-called underground comics are really just the more bizarre and anti-social works of illustrated art you can find. That tells us a lot about you, but that doesn’t make it better art.

The Enlightened One: That's how these comics work: while Batman speaks to millions, one of these will speak only to you. Look and you will find one that you identify with, this I promise. Artists and writers that aren't in it for the money or fame. They do it for the reason all great artists do it. Expression!!!

Translation: If Daniel Clowes pours his heart out writing "Ghost World", and expresses some feelings to me, than he has created great art. If Chuck Dixon writes a Batman comic, and I find a fun-filled story, then he has entertained me. The main confusion with most poeple is that if a guy draws or writes something, than its art. No, if a guy draws lettuce-heads for a Winn-Dixie ad, it is not art. But if a guy draws something drawing from his experiences and relates that to me than he has created what art should be. If you don't agree or understand the difference between entertainment and art, then in my opinion, you don't know the difference between "Paths of Glory" and a John Wayne war movie. And, again, it is my opinion. And, again, guess what--it is an editorial.

Drew: Yes, it’s true, Terence. People can actually enjoy superhero comics, alternative comics, or both and still live in peace and harmony, much to your chagrin.

The Enlightened One: Yeah, I buy some of the mainstream comics being put out, including DC and Marvel, but I would never say that they hold a torch to half of what's being put out through indie/underground companies.

Translation: No duh! I live in harmony, too, neighbor. I just compare lawns in my neighborhood, like, "Bob's lawn looks OK, but George's lawn is great." But I live among many lawns. Hold on, I think I need a translation here.

Drew: The truth is that the kinds of audiences these markets attract are usually older (aging) readers, looking for something untraditional because they’ve grown weary of the rest.

The Enlightened one: I cannot urge more strongly how rewarding it will be to go this week and pick up an issue of, say, "Eightball" than Batman or Spiderman. Anyway, brace yourself--the Enlightenment has arrived.

Translation: Well, who do you think I was aiming for? Wizard subscribers?

Enlightenment translation: Those of you who would be interested by a pic from a Chalres Burns comic read this. You may know of comics only as being superheros. Which, if you're like me, you are a little tired of. Well, being that I write this column for misfits like myself, and usually do it as a call to arms, I really don't think there will be a confusion. Oops, wait, I confused some poor bloke named Drew. He must not read my column much. He doesn't understand the theme of it.

To hell with you all,
Terence Nuzum
Viddywell Productions
©2002