Dear Mr. Canova,
My name is Harry Talbot, and I wish to make the views of myself and the organization I represent clear to the good citizens of the Tampa Bay area. As you no doubt have read in the October 20th edition of the St. Petersburg Times in a disturbing article entitled “Halloween Display Seen as a Symbol of Hate”, a group called the “Lt. Uhuras” ferociously ripped down a Halloween display on private property depicting a (stuffed) creature hanging from gallows, who reportedly had “werewolf hands”. The Lt. Uhuras, a militant group, claimed the notorious Halloween display vilely depicted an old-fashioned lynching like they did in the olden days.
I am co-founder and president of the Lycanthrope Anti-Defamation League (LADL), and our esteemed organization was shocked and outraged at the incident detailed above. The real reason this group crossed onto private property was to mock and denigrate lycanthropes, cruelly and savagely ripping the poor werewolf’s body apart, which was especially troubling in that he was mauled in mid-transformation. My god, the head hadn’t even turned yet and these fiends pulled him apart like chicken pieces! This is akin to a woman being drawn and quartered during childbirth. The hairy hands and claws were I guess too physically threatening.
I am contacting your website simply because you and your staff have a long and proud track record of reverence for legendary “horror” characters, such as the werewolves we are, and could perhaps assist us in our struggle to combat such outrageous and demeaning behavior. We will not simply stand by and allow bigoted, roving mobs to trot up to the yards of innocent people and destroy their Halloween-themed lycanthropic displays and to remind them that lycanthropes suffered similar incidences of bigotry in the middle ages!
Need I remind the Lt. Uhuras that a full moon will soon be rising in the midnight sky, and 2-inch long claws and saber-toothed fangs can make Roy Horn’s mauling look like a paper cut. It is time we all come together and stop this newfound wave of anti-lycanthropy before it spreads like wildfire.
President & Co-Founder
Lycanthrope Anti-Defamation League (LADL)
Ahem....ummm, thanks, Andy! Hope everyone shares your sense of humor. ---N
To send an email to Letters to the Editor write to: Crazedfanboy1@aol.com. Any emails sent to this address will be assumed intended for publication unless you specifically instruct me not to. I can and do respond privately, if that is your preference. Frequently, it's both ways.---Nolan