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Now in our fifth calendar year
PCR #239  (Vol. 5, No. 43)  This edition is for the week of October 18--24, 2004.

LA FLORIDIANA
Origin of Names of Florida’s Towns and Counties L to M....The Prodigal Son Returns to the Stars
 by Will Moriaty
THIS WEEK'S MOVIE REVIEW
"The Grudge"
 by Mike Smith
COUCH POTATO
“Crazed Fans”, a New Reality Series Starring Crazedfanboy, Lalin80’s, Branded, Cthulhu, Arbormor, and Couchpotato.
  by Vinnie Blesi
ODDSERVATIONS
The People vs Crazed Fanboy....Marc Almond Victim In Crash
 by Andy Lalino
MATT'S RAIL
Despicable?
 by Matt Drinnenberg
MIKE'S RANT
The Curse Is Over (Almost)....Movie Notes....Love Those Canucks....A Genuine Honor....Meet The Beatles, Part 39
 by Mike Smith
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Andy Lalino
Oddservations by Andy Lalino

The People vs Crazed Fanboy

Dear Mr. Canova,
Greetings and salutations. My name is Boris Chaney Carradine III Esq., legal council for plaintiff Andrew C. Lalino, who has filed the civil lawsuit "The People vs. Crazed Fanboy" for physical and especially mental anguish suffered during the 4-day time period the "Crazed Fanboy" Message Board was inaccessible. Mr. Canova, this is a grave matter. My client has just been hospitalized in the Nina Harris school of the Perpetually Insane due to inaction by yourself and "CyberServers, Inc.", the server on which the Crazed Fanboy Message Board resides. You have had over 4 days to 'fix' the said Message Board, yet failed to do so. This lack of pro-active problem-solving has resulted in Mr. Lalino being deprived of the privilege of utilizing the CF Message Board, and the inability to post and read messages, which in turn led to his "breakdown".

You must understand that horror, sci-fi, fantasy, juvenile delinquent, B-movie, and teenage sex comedy films comprise a big part of Mr. Lalino's paltry life, and deprivation of the access to voice his opinions on certain 'Fanboy' subject matters, specifically on your "Crazed Fanboy" website has directly led to his "condition", therefore you are directly responsible and must incur the consequences of contributing to his decline, which Mr. Lalino, in his present state, has contacted me in relation to representing him in this matter.

As the creator of such an addictive entity as this "Crazed Fanboy" website (personally, I'm not a "horror fan"; I prefer birdwatching), it is your duty and solemn responsibility to ensure that every aspect of your website is accessible to all times to the Crazed Fanboys who regularly peruse your site. Anything less is damaging to the fragile state of my client. Were you a truly devoted webmaster, you would have driven (or in your case charged up your electric bicycle) and driven to whatever state your server is located and taken a more hands-on approach to fixing said server. Instead you have chose to reside in your South Tampa home, occasionally feasting at the Egg Platter restaurant, while poor Mr. Lalino endured continuous moments without said Message Board.

Have you no shame? How could you let this happen to a poor, helpless Crazed Fanboy who once called you a friend? Do you know what happens to Mr. Lalino when he can't freely express his thoughts on the new Duran Duran CD, "Shaun of the Dead", or a 1970's Wes Craven made-for-TV movie?!? It's not pretty.

I think you should know, Mr. Canova, that in addition to representing Mr. Lalino, I'm filing on his behalf a class-action lawsuit comprised of the following group: Brandon Jones, "droogiedurango", Mike Smith, Will Moriaty, and Al-Shabaz. You should be receiving a notice to appear in court by my assistant Dwight Renfield. I expect to see you at the specified date promptly.

Mr. Lalino regrets it had to come to this, Mr. Canova, but being institutionalized for 4 days (and counting) adds up, and he felt the pain and suffering he has incurred should be shouldered by the party immediately responsible. Mr. Lalino believes in finger-pointing whenever humanly possible. Lastly, he wanted you to know that his shock treatments are scheduled for tomorrow afternoon, followed by immediate rest and recovery. If you do manage to get the CF Message Board up in a timely fashion, he and the other parties may agree to drop the lawsuit in return for a "grilled cheese for everyone" gathering at the Egg Platter.

Against my recommendations and council, Mr. Lalino requested that you publish this correspondence in his next installment of "Oddservations", so fellow Crazed Fanboys will know what he's been through in hopes of avoiding a similar fate. I thank you for your time, Mr. Canova.

Regards,
Boris Chaney Carradine III Esq

Sigh...you're a real piece of work, you know that kiddo? By now you know the Message Board is functioning again, however I realize it's being down for nearly a week caused you much grief. As compensation I'm allowing you the honor of picking me up and maybe buying me dinner on the way to the Halloween Horor Picture Show----least I can do! ---Nolan

Marc Almond Victim In Crash
Marc AlmondThe tragedies just will not stop. On Monday, Oct. 18th, news arrived that Soft Cell singer Marc Almond was the victim of a motorcycle accident in Central London. Listed as "critical" after the crash, in which he sustained head injuries, Almond remains in stable but serious condition as of today (Oct. 20th).

The BBC reports that thousands of fans across the world sent letters and flowers to Almond's at his hospital. Almond, with keyboardist Dave Ball, was the lead singer of the popular early '80s band Soft Cell, noted for their international hits "Tainted Love" (one of the longest-charting singles in history), "Bedsitter", "Torch", "Say Hello, Wave Goodbye", "Memorabilia", and the tremendous "Martin" (based on the George Romero movie). Soft Cell split in 1984, allowing Almond to pursue a successful solo career, highlighted in 1987 by the landmark singles "Tears Run Rings", "The Stars We Are", and "Something's Got a Hold of My Heart" (with Gene Pitney).

IMO, Almond's finest hour was 1993, when the unbelievably great "Twelve Years of Tears: Live from the Albert Hall" was released, showcasing stunning arrangements of Almond/Soft Cell's singles. In 1991, Almond re-recorded Soft Cell's hit singles "Tainted Love" and "Memorabilia", asserting his singing's improved since the early '80s.

Soft CellThroughout the '90s, Almond continued his solo ventures, until 2002, when he re-formed Soft Cell with original member Dave Ball, releasing the critically-acclaimed CD "Cruelty Without Beauty", which spawned the new British hits "Monoculture", "Desperate", and "The Night" (a 2002 Top 40 Brit Hit for the reunited Soft Cell). My favorite track is "On An Up", which actually speaks to those who are thinking of Almond now in his current state of recovery. After the release of "Cruelty Without Beauty", Soft Cell supported the CD with a new DVD - "Soft Cell Live in Milan" (which occasionally airs on the Trio network) and an accompanying live CD of the same name.

Let's all pray for a speedy recovery of one of the great music talents to be born out of the '80s who continued the great legacy of New Wave to this day and age, when it's needed most.



"Oddservations" is ©2004 by Andy Lalino.  The Oddservations banner is a creation of Andy Lalino. All other graphics are creations of Nolan B. Canova.  All contents of Nolan's Pop Culture Review are ©2004 by Nolan B. Canova.