Schlockarama: VHS/DVD Grindhouse

In no way shape or form was I prepared for the awesomeness that is this film. Let's get some things out of the way first. The film is shot in a surreal available lighting scheme and with what looks like that old cool newsreel film stock, which gives it this hypnotic feel that while may have been for budget constraints nevertheless puts this above most others. There is no dialogue really and when there is the actors backs are toward the camera or faces are off screen. Instead the film has narration which sounds like a Mickey Spillane novel for 12 yr olds. But that's just part of the brilliance of this film. And I don't mean brilliant as in so bad its good brilliant I mean this really is underrated. Obviously most all of the things that make it great weren't intentional but that doesn't matter. What's done is done.

The basic story is that Tor Johnson ,a scientist escaping KGB agents, wanders into a nuclear testing zone and gets nuked turning into a retarded horny version of the Incredible Hulk. Forget the story though because its the atmosphere and sleaze that make this movie. Much has been said over the years about the opening scene. To put in quite frankly the opening scene itself may be one of the most influential 60 sec's in genre filmmaking. First we see a drably lit room that is decorated like a retro indie-rock photo shoot that is not unlike the type that would permeate cheapo 70's horror flicks and aped in the decor of every wannabe retro inspired film since The Virgin Suicides. Then a chick with a zoned out porn star stare and looking like a wet dream from an indie-rock concert sits on the bed and does pedestrian actions like comb her hair etc. At this point you could almost see Sonic Youth appearing, blazing on their guitars, and realizing you've been duped and bought a 120 Minutes music video compilation instead. But what you get is two burly arms appearing and chocking the girl and then a cut back to the chicks dead body and then go on say it you know you want to.....a rape! Necrophilia baby! Dig it Daddy-O this film is the king and it was made in 1961 at that! Look close and you get to see an up skirt shot.To say that this scene didn't inspire Blood Feast's infamous hotel murder would be as foolish as going dressed as Hitler to a Bar Mitzvah. The rest of the movie consists of Tor rampaging across the country side murdering "men of progress" and walking off into the hills with their women and making sweet necro-love to them. I have to add in that every girls death scene is shot with a dream like beauty almost as if it's a love scene. My theory is that director Francis was into some weird shit and was filming his own kind of sex film under the auspices of a monster movie.

I could go on about how without this film there would be no Blood Feast, no Grindhouse,and certainly no Tarantino films or Tarantino presents franchises. Or I also could go on about how it probably at least inspired Hills Have Eyes and a thousand mutated hill freak cannibal movies. But screw all that. This is the real deal. The ultimate greasy corn dog-large soda-buttery popcorn munching-Ju Ju Bee-happy ending from your date- at the Drive In masterpiece. If this film was my girlfriend I'd be whipped.