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Dister Productions Produced by: Jose A. Escrivia, Francesca De Laurentis and J.P. Simon Directed by: J.P. Simon Screenplay by: Ron Gantman Special Effects: Emilio Ruiz | |
| Based on a novel by Shaun Hutson | |
| Starring: | |
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Mike Brady......................MICHAEL GARFIELD Kim Brady.......................KIM TERRY Don Palmer.....................PHILLIP MACHALE Maria Palmer..................CONCHA CUERTOS David Watson..................EMILIO LENDER Maureen Watson.............ALICIA MORO Professor John Foley......SANTIAGO ALVAREZ Sheriff Reese..................JOHN BATTAGLIA | |
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Slugs provided by the City of Taramundi (I'm not making this up!) Filmed in Lyons, New York and Madrid, Spain (don't ask!) | |
| Run Time: 92 minutes Color | |
Here's a story Mike Brady--Health Inspector The Slug Rampage Continues! Bad music Spoiler alert: so Bad A Movie I WILL give away the "Surprise Ending" You might be lucky enough to find this gem in the bargain bin of your local video store as asking full price for this turkey is akin to cruel and unusual punishment.
Better yet, you might get even more lucky and not find it at all!
Favorite Lines Officer Dobbs: "Snails, slugs, what the hell's the difference?"
Sheriff Reese to Mike Brady: "Killer slugs? What's next? Demented crickets? Rampaging mosquitoes?"
The Drunk is always the First to Die
"The Ashton Slugs": sung to the tune of "The Brady Bunch Theme"
About a man named Brady
A man who was on the Ashton public dole
He had a lovely wife
Her name was Kimmy
At least that was actress Kim Terry's role.
And then one day while
The two were gardening
Something very strange had started to unfurl
Man-eating slugs were crawling in the planter
And the Brady's hair did start to curl
With no beer or salt to
Stop the invaders
What were our Mikey and our Kimmy ever to do?
As the slugs left on the sidewalk behind them
A really grody slimy trail of goo!
The Ashton Slugs!
The Ashton Slugs!
That's the Day that belonged to the Ashton Slugs!
Never ever become emotionally attached to the town drunk in movies like this because they're always the first to be whacked, and the first pathetic victim in this slugfest is no exception. Ron (not Art, Ricky or Randy) Bell is swaggering to his condemned house to continue his bender-a-thon when he plops down on his moth-eaten sofa which is infested with--you got it, man-eating carnivorous slugs!
Deep in the bowels of Ashton city government is the insignificant office of Mike Brady (played by Michael Garfield), the City's sole health inspector. He is called out to meet with Wayne County Sheriff Reese who is a complete doo-doo butt, to investigate the gruesome death of Bell, who looks sorta like a 5-foot long plate of Slughetti. Get out the Vicks Vapo-Rub!
Ron Bell was the first to get slugged, but by no means the last! These leeches (oops, that's another Schlockarama!) with an attitude next devour a man's hand leading to an explosion killing him and his wife. The next set of victims dumbly eat the slugs that are hiding in their lettuce, leading in one case to a most inappropriate scene being made at a high class restaurant (which only goes to show that slugs have no social graces whatsoever!). Then we are treated to a teenage couple doing the big nasty one minute, and being made into Escargot by a sea of slugs on the bedroom floor the next. Then a high school girl becomes a slug soup de jour as somehow the slugs hilariously drag her body through the Ashton sewers--and even one of the movie's heroes is made into an entrée.
The name of the music producer of this film was withheld in order to protect their guilt in unleashing some of the worst musical tracks this side of "Adam 12" onto an unsuspecting and innocent public.
And just what do you suppose makes a good slug go bad? Abusive parents? Peer Pressure? Bad investments? Abject poverty? No dental care? How about...a toxic waste dump! Yes, the Ed Norton of Ashton, Don Palmer, head of the Sewage Department and all around good, but smelly egg, discovers old maps from the '50s and '60s showing a toxic waste dump which is located in the same area where the slug attacks are occurring!
The movie synopsis and review of "Slugs: The Movie" is ©2003 by William Moriaty. "Schlockarama™" is a part of Crazed Fanboy™ dotcom and all contents are ©2003 by Nolan B. Canova