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Ok I risked life and limb and lost a very dear member of my family to give you the dedicated reader a firsthand look at Megacon 2014. By the way, I’m kidding about losing a family member, I was just referencing the National Lampoon’s Vacation, a classic summer flick.

I was too excited to sleep because Megacon is the largest Comics/Sci-Fi/Anime/Gaming Con to attend in Florida. I agreed to carpool with a buddy in Wesley Chapel and that is where the story begins.

I was on Dale Mabry at 7am with limited traffic and arrived in Wesley Chapel at 7:30, then I had to carefully and slowly drive through a deer infested street. I turned onto what started out as a paved road that quickly became a dirt road. I came up on a giant pond in the middle of the road and had no choice but to drive straight through it, hitting the gas, to narrowly escape getting stuck in redneck nowhere. I made it out of a pond and then it was a 30mph bumpy journey over a dirt road in a Toyota Corolla when I should have been driving a truck with 4 wheel drive. Then suddenly the stupid road became paved again.

I found my buddy’s house and he wasn’t even awake. Risking a verbal assault by waking up someone I kept ringing the doorbell. Finally he appeared and we were off at 8:20. We took 75 to I4 and were making great time until we hit downtown Orlando and all traffic stopped. It was so bad that a random dude pulled his car over to the shoulder just to pee out in the open with everyone watching. I admire him for that. Anyone who can just whip it out without a care for hundreds of drivers watching you pee has something special and I’m not sure what that is.

Finally he zipped up, got back into his car, and attempting to merge back into traffic.

Helicopters were in the air and I feared a bad accident up ahead. I was wrong. It was just Spring Breakers and people going to MegaCon that had I4 so congested. After about 2-hours we made it to Exit 1 for International Drive. There were a long line of cars stuck on the exit ramp, not moving. I spotted a sign saying use Exit 2 for Event Parking so I headed for that. Big mistake. I was lost and confused and forced to go back onto I4 and wait in traffic that moved ½ an inch every 20-minutes. It was total chaos on I4 with con goers in full cosplay attire walking on the shoulder of the road following the exit ramp. I had no idea where their abandoned vehicles were. Traffic jams bring out the worst in drivers as gangs of cars used the shoulder to get ahead and cut off other drivers. I stuck it out until the bitter end. I too attempted to use the shoulder but as luck would have it I got stuck behind some dude changing a flat with no one wanting to let me back on.

Finally we arrived at the parking lot at 1pm after leaving Wesley Chapel at 8:20am for a normally hour and a half commute. Lesson learned, next MegaCon, I will book a hotel room months in advance, leave Friday morning at 8:30am, and just walk over whenever I feel like it on Saturday.

I mean it was so bad, that people were leaving their cars parked at Subway, Publix, and just off the side of the road and just not caring because everyone was so sick of how obnoxious the traffic situation was.

I parked my car just after 1pm and then we walked over to the Orange County Convention Center.

All hardships aside, it was fun once I was actually were inside the building. We picked up our Saturday passes at Will Call and then bravely entered the Dealer’s Room. It was packed. I was stuck in front of a giant mob of people that resembled the traffic nightmare still going on outside. People were shoulder to shoulder and at times I was wondering if I would be able to breath. Once I found something at a booth that I wanted to check out, hundreds of people would stop in front of me to take a picture of cute girls in bikinis cosplaying. There was just no way around it. So instead of complaining I brought out my Canon Rebel and joined in. I got some nice shots of girls in makeup, sexy Star Wars girls, including a cute girl in a green bikini wearing a Boba Fett helmet, there was even a sexy Doctor Who girl walking around with a guy in a Police Box.

However my favorite costume this year was the guy who dressed up as Steve Jobs. He looked so much like him. My second favorite costume was the short guy with glasses who was Seymour, the Rick Moranis version, holding Audrey II.

Now ever con I have ever gone to has one weird encounter. I was sitting around near the entrance, minding my own business, with a loud strange lady sit down next to me and starting yelling at me. She gave me a pen and told me to come to her church, listed on the pen on Sunday at 4pm and I would meet my future wife. Then she proceeded to knit me a washcloth and shouting at the top of her lungs idiot random stupid things to people walking by. Several people left the area. I was stuck because I promised to listen to her story while she knitted. It was something about her husband being Batman because he saved a little girl swinging on a swing set. Finally she handed me my wash cloth and left. I remained on good terms until she was well out of hearing range and then apologized to anyone sitting around me and told them that I am a magnet for the strange and weird.

I pray that I never ever run into that lady ever again. To my horror she lives in New Tampa, so it could help. She made Kathy Bates in Misery seem docile and tame.

I took a couple of strolls around the area just outside the dealer’s room and that’s where I took some great pictures of cosplayers.

I did pick up a few things this year. I got a Gundam Wing shirt that I have been wanting in extra-large. I also bought Final Fantasy VII in Japanese that is playable only on a Japanese PS1 or on a modified PS1. I have a Japanese PS1 so I am good to go. The instruction manual is in Japanese, as well as, the game text.

I picked up Godzilla Vs Megalon on DVD from a booth that had a lot of Tokyo Shock DVDs.

I had lost my buddy somewhere in the dealer’s room and couldn’t find him. So after eating a quick dinner of teriyaki chicken with broccoli and fried rice, I sat by the main entrance and waited an hour for him. Confused on what to do, at around 7pm, I decided to head back to my car and put my stuff up with the intention of returning to find him.

Luckily for me, he was waiting by the car. So we began our journey home that took a lot less time than getting there.

Overall I enjoyed myself at MegaCon. I’m not into Western Superheroes and I don’t care about Marvel or DC but that doesn’t matter because there was enough Anime to keep even me satisfied. I did take Dr. Who pictures for Terence and Irma.

Although the crowds were massive, I never felt scared. If someone ran into me they usually apologized. I got a lot of shout outs for wearing my Godzilla shirt and had some good conversations with normal people who can’t wait to see the new Godzilla movie.

So if you are into Anime and gaming and happen to be in Florida during the spring, come down to MegaCon, just be sure to arrive a day earlier and never accept a knitted scarf from any crazy older woman.