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Flash Fantastic!

No. 7May 2004

By Vin Blesi

The sharp, shiny, stainless steel edge of the knife cut deeply. With a surgeon’s touch that would make Jack the Ripper proud, the cut was clean and smooth. The slice came out easily and Bob was able to enjoy the first piece of chocolate birthday cake.

The needle was sharp and sterile. The medication was expertly extracted from the small vial that contained the expensive pharmaceutical. Bob gave his mother her daily insulin and went back to finish his lonely piece of birthday cake.

The capsule was carefully handled and separated, emptying the white powdered contents onto the food prepared on the plate. Bob mixed the white powder with the ground meat substance slowly with an old spoon left to him by his grandmother. He reached down and fed the dog food to his 6-year-old mutt, covered in mange, and returned to his birthday slice.

Bob opened the vial of liquid and added it to his freshly prepared hot tea. He methodically mixed it with some artificial sweetener, using the same spoon that his grandmother had given him; after all, he had read good things about the health benefits of royal jelly so he gave it a try. The next morning the news reported the tragedy. A single, middle-aged man and his bed-ridden mother were found dead in a burned out bungalow. The fire department had arrived too late. Oddly enough, the only things left intact were a cup of tea, with an antique silver spoon, and a freshly cut slice of chocolate cake.

by Jonette Stabbert

Briorda walked down the deserted street, her heels clicking in the midnight stillness. She could hear stealthy footsteps behind her; she’d been followed for two blocks.

“Oh!” she cried out, pretending to trip. It gave her pursuer time to catch up.

As she turned to face him, he leapt from the darkness, the gun in his hand trained on her heart.

“Okay, bitch. Hand over your purse.”

Briorda smiled at him. “I don’t think so,” she said, her lilting, high voice like music in the night.

The mugger tried to grab it from her, but Briorda was surprisingly strong.

“Well, you asked for it,” the man said, firing three rounds that caused her to stagger and fall. Then she stood up again, wearing that peculiar smile.

“What the …”

As she advanced on him, her luminous green eyes bore into his terrified blue ones. He clutched his chest and fell to the ground.

She pocketed the contents of his wallet – it wasn’t about the money, but she could use some local currency.

So far there was no real sport to this; Earthlings were such weaklings. Sighing, she decided she’d try the docks tomorrow night.

By Clint Gaige

All I could think about was getting a bath, a nice warm bath. Work was stressing me out. I was sick and tired of being in middle management, in a day and age that didn’t respect management. Everyone wanted to have a say. No one wanted to actually do the dirty work, but they had no problem passing it down the line.

I was one middle manager that believed in getting involved and keeping my guys motivated. It was important to keep the guys in the trenches thinking forward. Without their support, a manager was out of luck. Without their hard work I wouldn’t be able to keep the Chicago bosses happy. Besides, it was Christmas and I hated asking guys to work the holidays. I always figured that since I wasn’t tied down with a family, I could work the holiday and let my crew enjoy the day with their kids. It was a small effort to keep up morale.

This holiday, work was especially messy, a little too messy. Everything needed cleaning. My shirt, my jacket, my pants even my shoes. My hands were hurting. My head was ringing. As I sat there, I started thinking about the bath crystals that were sitting on my bathroom counter. Of course, getting that bath was going to take awhile.

“Okay, Einstein, stand up.”

“Yeah, yeah,” I stood up with his unneeded assistance.

“This was really stupid, Capo. What were you thinking taking down the marker yourself? You got the blood all over you. You’re walking around with enough genetic evidence to swallow the DA and the Judge. Not smart, boss man.” The little cop was enjoying a big bust. It wasn’t everyday he nailed a Mob boss.

“Yeah well, we all have bad days at the office.” I rolled my eyes allowing him his moment.

“Any last wishes?”

“A bath.”

“How about a group shower?” The cop smirked.

“Nearly the same thing.” Never show weakness. I was caught, what the hell was I going to say? I had a top litigation lawyer. I wouldn’t be in for too long, but it looked like the bath was going to have to wait.

By Charles Richard Laing

My dear mother tried to talk me out of becoming a vampire even though she knew it was my heart's desire. What kind of life is that for a promising young man? She would ask me. Staying out all night chasing after strange girls of questionable virtue... You do like girls, don't you, Johnny?

(yes, Mother. I do like girls...)

I never doubted her love for me, but she cruelly insisted I give up my only dream. She wanted me to forsake the night. Go back to school and resume my studies. Meet a nice girl and give her many beautiful grandchildren.

# # # #

That was fifty-seven years ago. My mother died fifty years ago tonight. Any nice girl I might have met would now be old and gray. Any of Mother's beautiful grandchildren would more than likely be dead in one of the many struggles to promote the fading American ideology against whatever empire was currently evil.

# # # #

I have never questioned my decision to accept the Kiss. Still, the ghost of my mother never fails to haunt my early morning dreams. She always looks so sad.

I have never married, but I have a family. In a way I have given her the grandchildren she desired. Perhaps more than she desired. They number in the hundreds.

None carry on the family name. Nor do they resemble me in the slightest, unless you look into their cold red eyes. There the resemblance is frightening...

THIS ISSUE OF FLASH FANTASTIC -- "Bob's Birthday" is ©2004 by Vin Blesi.  "Night Moves" is ©2004 by Jonette Stabbert.  "The Bath" is ©2004 by Clint Gaige.   "The Choice" is ©2004 by Charles Richard Laing.  All contents of Flash Fantastic edited by Patty G. Henderson.  Final formatting and additional graphics by Nolan B. Canova.  All contents of Crazed Fanboy dotcom and Nolan's Pop Culture Review are ©2004 by Nolan B. Canova.

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