![]() Established A.D. 2000, March 19. Now in our fifth calendar year! Number 224 (Vol. 5, No. 28). This edition is for the week of July 5--11, 2004. FL Road Trip
I never ever get away from home anymore because of a workload and correspondence that backs up mercilessly in my absence. Also, I really don't have a lot of money to travel, shocking as that may be to a lot of you. Not such a bad life, mind you, here is actually where I prefer to be most of the time, but it means I have to be dragged kicking and screaming to go just about anywhere. (Never mind I don't have a car, which amplifies that situation.)
At the behest of valued and frequent PCR contributor ED Tucker, I was persuaded to force myself to unshackle from the computer and travel up to Jacksonville to partake in his particular over-the-top brand of Independence Day weekend activities, and frankly, just get away for a couple days. The work would most certainly still be here when I got back. It would just have to run a little more behind just this once. (Apologies to all whom this affects.)
At my behest, William Moriaty was drafted (kicking and screaming) to be my driver/traveling companion. Will and I have never traveled far before, but it was a risk we had to take. To make the trip even more interesting, and divert attention from ringing each other's necks, we'd go through Old Canova country where some locations and I have some family ties; places I'd heard about, but never visited. Until now. Unfortunately, due to weak planning on my part, these were the least successful stages of the trip--I simply hadn't done enough howework. But more on that as our story unfolds.
After getting a late start (story of my life), we visited a local car wash and hit the road officially at 10:45am Sunday morning, July 4th. I-75 Northbound was the obvious choice from Tampa, but there was an important slight detour I was determined to make once we got near Gainesville. Somewhere south of there Will deftly changed over to Highway 301.
Will alerted me when we were getting close (Will knows this whole state like the back of his hand, damn near), and to be on the lookout, because it would fly by real fast. I'd always heard from the family "oh there's only about 4 houses left, one of 'ems ours", so I was expecting 4 houses in a row, lined up on the same side of 301. In actuality, it was more like here's a house, wait a quarter-mile, here's another house, wait a quarter-mile, look way over on the other side of 301, there's a couple more.
Camp Blanding Mandarin, FL The Stuff We sit and trade war stories in the den and engage in the inevitable game of trivial pursuit--verbal style, we don't need no stinkin' cards. Ed brings out some more collectibles like Viewmaster reels and old Florida pamphlets (Will's gassed at these), while a large Batman model looks on. Posters of cheesy movies adorn the walls and impressive 16mm and Super-8 projectors are scattered everywhere.
The Fireworks The fireworks display began in earnest around 9:00pm. I was roused from slumber and jostled out front for a very hands-on 4th of July celebration!
Ed and his neighbors sort of do this together out in the middle of the street. Either one would be a firey tour-de-force, but having joined forces it was almost comical in its excess (again, what else was I expecting?). I now regret the decision not to take any photographs (or movies) as I just didn't think they'd expose worth a damn--but now I think I should've at least tried. It was awesome. Only injuries to yours truly was a burnt thumb when a couple fuses bit me, and a bruised ego when a rocket-shaped doo-dad launched horizontally instead of vertically when I tipped it over accidentally. I sat out the rest of it, pretty much.
About an hour later, with our eardrums ringing, with the smoke so thick you couldn't see across the street, and the street itself covered in spent fireworks and paper debris, the show was over. But man, what a show. Vigorous conversation was sustained until nearly midnight when guests finally started leaving. Ed and Will sounded like they were game for more, but I called it a day. I went to sleep in the guest room so quickly I don't even remember the lights being turned out.
Monday, Dr. Paul Bearer, and ZAAT OK, now here's the punchline with ZAAT. Ed's been in communication with the producer/director Don Barton for years, has actually acquired the rights to ZAAT and is, in fact, marketing restored copies (click here: http://www.zaat2000.com). ED first showed us how it looked on a Lightning Video version hosted by Elvira entitled "Attack of The Swamp Creature" (that is from Lightening Video's---a subsidiary of the defunct Vestron Video---Thriller Collection. In an earlier edition of PCR I confused this as being from her regular broadcast program, Elvira, Mistress of the Dark, but this was not the case). Another oft-used title is "The Bloodwaters of Dr. Z". The opening "documentary" sequence and director's name is altered (to Arnold Stevens) in some versions. Ed relayed an amusing anecdote (well, amusing now) of how Mystery Science Theater 3000 did a send-up of ZAAT, but was unauthorized to use the movie. Ed had his first experience sending out a cease-and-desist; MST3K pulled the episode.
It was time for lunch and the trip home. Ed has been talking about Clark's Fish Camp for nearly the whole time I've known him and we were finally going to visit!
Oh no.....we got there only to discover---closed for the holiday!! Horrified, Ed and Cindy scrambled for Plan B: The Outback Crab Shack of St. Augustine. This was a most equitable solution as the Shack had excellent seafood and put us more than halfway to our next destination: St. Augustine. We departed Ed, Cindy, and the Crab Shack just past 3:30pm, planning another go-'round for next year.
The last time I was in Jacksonville was nearly 30 years ago, when an uncle brought me up there in the hopes of finding employment. My memories of that week are not great. The trip to Ed Tucker's went a lot better and Jax feels much closer now.
St. Augustine UUUuuuuuunfortunately there are no signs as to exactly where the house is and the souvenir maps are not marked as such. If not for William doing a little research on Ed's computer we wouldn't have made it this far, so we pressed on. St. Augustine is certainly a beautiful sea-side town, the oldest town in America, living history, and it's pretty natural to be awed. It's too bad we were rushed for time and didn't know where to go for specific information. The only thing we knew for sure was that the Canova House was on Bridge St.... But where on Bridge St.? Were there no plaques? Is this a delusion of the family and it's really no big deal at all?
After more than an hour of fruitless hunting, we were forced to content ourselves that we saw something somewhere, pulled up stakes and headed for home. Note: after consulting later with my brother, it appears the Canova House goes by a few other names, likely currently The Marrat House after Prince Marrat (Napoleon's nephew?).
Homeward. We pulled into my driveway at 9:20pm, Monday night. I made some necessary calls and passed out. I'm still a little woozy!
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"Mike's Rant" is ©2004 by Michael A. Smith "Matt's Rail" is ©2004 by Matthew Drinnenberg "La Floridiana" is ©2004 by William Moriaty "This Week's Movie Review" is ©2004 by Michael A. Smith "Oddservations" is ©2004 by Andy Lalino "Splash Page" is ©2004 by Brandon Jones "Couch Potato Confessions" is © 2004 by Vinnie Blesi All contents of Nolan's Pop Culture Review are ©2004 by Nolan B. Canova Crazed Fanboy dotcom is owned and operated by Nolan B. Canova |