The Legends of Wrestling in Tampa Bay  by Chris Woods

MOVIE REVIEW "Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End"  by Mike Smith

ODDSERVATIONS It's a Mainstream, Mainstream, Mainstream, Mainstream World  by Andy Lalino

MIKE'S RANT A Long Time Ago....Movie Notes....Idol Music....Whatever Happened To...? Next Chapter: on Hiatus till Next Week  by Mike Smith

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It's a Mainstream, Mainstream, Mainstream, Mainstream World

As I write this column, we're asshole-deep in the big summer movie offerings. Yeah, I'm sure you're familiar with them - the webslinger, that mucous-colored oogling ogre (complete with jackass and a princess who sure kicks butt), and a pirate who looks like Keith ("I Snorted Grandpapa!") Richards. No matter where the nuclear family goes - Wal-Mart, Burger King, Burger-Mart - there they are: the characters from these films whose stand-ups stare back from the condiment counter - oh, and don't forget your Happy Meal giftie!

The almighty mainstream contingent can heartily congratulate themselves this summer season - they unabashedly trounced any noteworthy attempt to deliver good, solid grindhouse/drive-in fare. I'm speaking specifically of two of the best horror films to be released since 2005's double-triumph George A. Romero's "Land of the Dead" and Rob Zombie's "The Devil's Rejects": Tarantino's/Rodriguez's "Grindhouse" and "28 Weeks Later". The Americano schlub club thumbed their nose at the concept of bringing back the sleazy 42nd Street theater atmosphere and post-apocalyptic plagues, hypnotized and mesmerized by an unceasing onslaught of multi-million dollar marketing campaigns, courtesy of the usual suspects Sony Pictures and Disney.

Despite $3.15/gallon gas prices, $9.50 Coke/popcorn combos, $5 candy bars, $10 admission prices, American youth somehow find the means of affording to go to the multiplex day in and day out, contributing daddy's allowance to stuff the coffers of already bloated Disney & Pixxar execs. When father's wallet sprouts wings and flies away en route to bankruptcy court, I hope he tans your hide, but good.

But let's see just who stands the test of time. Ironic that all four of the aforementioned best horror films were box office "disappointments" (I'd like to tally up profits post DVD-release...), when you'll find ten years from now "Shrek the Third" winds up in the Cash America Pawn Shop $2 bin and "28 Weeks Later" will be considered a neglected horror classic that you won't find any true fan parting with.

I guess it could be worse...I'd rather Spidey and a decent pirate series rake it in than other types of cinegarbagé. I just wish people could stick their heads out of their Happy Meals and take in some risqué entertainment for once.