Down But Not Out Buccaneers Want Your Money! Ed Werder Is An Idiot Al Bundy Was A Bear! Magic Finally Steal One IWFL
$22.5 Million Couch Potato
Manny Ramirez has a new job. That’s watching TV all day and getting paid 22.5 Million dollars a year to do that. See, Manny tested positive for performance-enhancing drugs last month, and during his 50-game suspension, he gets to sit around in his plush mansion, watching a mere 13 flat-screen HDTV’s in his house, and taking a sh*t on the most expensive toilet you’ve ever heard of. All of this is from the game of baseball. A game that he has cheated. When any league suspends a player, they go back to there luxurious homes and enjoy life better then you and I do, even after an atrocity. Take Michael Vick for example, he put innocent pit-bulls in a bathtub and threw a blow-dryer in that tub to punish the dog for losing a fight. Yet he rode in a Cadillac convoy to his million-dollar mansion after getting out of prison, and will most likely be forgiven, and be awarded another fat contract, despite his perverse nature. Mark Stepnowski, and Michael Phelps get religiously persecuted for smoking pot. This is ridiculous and should be stopped. People are more worried about what they are going to tell their children about Michael Phelps’ pot use than they are about Michael Vick electrocuting innocent dogs, and top-10 players in baseball using steroids.
The Rays are stuck in a cycle. They get to a .500 win average, then drop few, then repeat. With Akinora Iwamora lost for the season, the Rays have also had pitching problems this year. But with the All-Star Break coming up, I am optimistic about the second half of the season, and I really think they could still make the playoffs. How bout you?
This year, the Buccaneers announced half-season packages, payable by a monthly payment plan. If you make this season’s FanFest at RJ Stadium, you could even pick your seats. Right now the franchise has faced something that they haven’t seen since the hiring of Tony Dungy, that would be empty seats. That’s something the Glazer family isn't prone to, and wont accept. That’s exactly why Jon Gruden and Bruce Allen were fired this year, and that’s why the franchise is offering cheaper seats to the Joe six-packs during this filthy economy. Go Bucs!
That’s what Brad Childress wants you to believe. Earlier this week, ESPN’s reporter Ed Werder jumped the gun and reported that Vikings’ coach Brad Childress gave Brett Favre a deadline for this week for an answer on if he was going to join the Vikings or not. Coach Childress had denied such reports and said that “Unless DeAnna wants to throw him out the house”, there was no deadline for Favre to report to camp. But know this: The day that the Vikings play the Packers in Green Bay in the ’09 schedule, Brett Favre has reserved over 20 rooms in one of Green Bay’s hotels that same day. What does that tell you? The guy is going to be a Viking. Why does this surprise anyone?
The other day I caught Married….With Children on TBS. During this episode, Al Bundy sold his soul to the devil to become a great Chicago Bears player. Al took his team to the Super Bowl, but during the game the Devil intruded and claimed Al Bundy’’s soul before he could win it all. This was one of the best Married…..With Children episodes I have seen, and I was surpised to see that Al Bundy was wearing an authentic Bears uniform for this episode. Every team that Bundy’s Bears played against were make believe teams, and didn’t use NFL uni’s or logos. It was nice to see Al win it all, but then he had to play the Devils’ team with his family and the Darcy's as teammates to return to his normal life. He ended up beating the Devil’s team and returned to his normal life, which is already hell, for him anyways. Great episode!
Down 0-2 to the Lakers in the Finals, the Magic hosted their first home game of the series and finally beat the Lakers to make the series 2-1. Unless your a Lakers's fan you'd be going for the Magic, but they only beat the Lakers by 4 points, not making the statement that everyone thought they would. The Lakers are a great team of this decade and will most likely run-away with this series. Im not a Lakers fan nor a Magic fan, but I'm rooting for the Magic considering that they are the closest NBA team in the league to Tampa. Orlando fans also root for the Bucs despite the fact that Orlando residents wear t-shirts that read "Tuck Fampa" during sports games. You stay classy Orlando! You all have been nasty over the years, and don't deserve an NBA team, nor a somewhat professional football team. So Fuck Orlando, the only pro-sports team you lay claim to is the Magic and the inept Predators of the Arena League. I hope Superman Dwight Howard chokes!
International Woman's Football League is what you call it. I caught an IWFL game the other day through Pittsburgh's sports broadcast and was suprised by the way the women play the game. This league isn't like the Lingerie Football League. The women in this league wear real football gear and uniforms, and have the most sophisticated uniforms in football.
"Sports Talk" is ©2009 by Christopher Munger. All graphics this page, except where otherwise noted, are creations of Nolan B. Canova. All contents of Nolan's Pop Culture Review are ©2009 by Nolan B. Canova.