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PCR #159. (Vol. 4, No. 15) This edition is for the week of April 7--13, 2003.
Mike's RantMike's Bust
Hello, gang! Some news, notes and is he or isn't he? Shall we begin?

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DEAD OR ALIVE?
As I write this we still aren't sure if Saddam Hussein is still alive. Of course, if you listen to the asshole Iraqi information guy, our troops are still in the U.S. trembling at the thought of going into Baghdad! Hope those look-alike body doubles keep this coming Halloween free. They will be mighty popular strung up as piņatas at costume parties this year.

CONCERT NOTES
Caught two very different shows this past week. First was comedian David Chappelle, best known for his work in films like "Half Baked" and "Con Air" as well as his very own "Chappelle's Show" on Comedy Central. Very funny. Very topical. I can see why his star is ascending. Second, the Baltimore Orioles 2nd biggest fan, Miss Joan Jett. Though my concertmate swears her show was somewhat toned down, I was greatly impressed. Love the fact that she opened the set with "Science Fiction, Double Feature," from the "Rocky Horror Show," in which she appeared on Broadway. She did all of her hits and a few songs I hadn't heard before but really enjoyed. I do believe she is heading down Tampa way, so those of you at home make an effort to see her.

FROM THIS WEEK'S ISSUE
Glad to see that I'm not the only one who has fallen in love with the comic strip "Get Fuzzy." It is definitely a must read for me every day. Sorry you don't get the Sunday color strip, Will. They are usually the best. I recently found out that the strip has a little baseball history attached to it. Seems that Satchel the dog is named after Negro League great Satchel Paige, while Bucky Kat is named after the great Buck O'Neil, another Negro League star, current president of the Negro League Museum and all around ambassador of the game. Buck is quite a presence here in the Kansas City area.

I'd like to add my $10 to the fund that will pay Ray Ferry to go the hell away and stop attacking Forry Ackerman. Accusations such as the ones he is making are surely the last acts of a desperate man. I hope Forry has the attorneys necessary to take this guy to court on his seriously libelous statements.

MAJOR CONGRATULATIONS
I got my start reviewing movies for my high school newspaper (H.B. Plant for those of you in Tampa). I was very fortunate to make the acquaintance of Steve Otto of the Tampa Times and he was also very helpful in his criticism of my work. In 1983, as part of a charity auction, I won the right to attend a movie with then Baltimore Sun film critic Stephen Hunter. The movie we attended was "Beastmaster," and afterwards we had lunch and discussed the film. I remember him driving off in his little convertible and thinking "what a cool job." As I got into the film promotion field in Baltimore I dealt with Stephen enough to consider him a friend. Also an acclaimed author, I really don't think there isn't anything he can't do with the written word. So it gives me great pleasure to announce that this past week Stephen, now writing for the Washington Post, was awarded the Pulitzer Prize for criticism. As some of you may know, not only do I write for the PCR but I am also the film critic for the Leavenworth Times. Thank you, Stephen, for your advice and assistance, and for taking your time to speak with me whenever I had a question or comment. Congratulations!

YOU DIDN'T WIN, PLEASE DON'T SUE US
If anyone has ever scratched off, peeled back or pulled off a lottery or prize ticket, you must remember the heartache you felt when the words, "Sorry, better luck next time" appeared. I know I have. However, I'm guessing that someone with a good lawyer decided to sue when their luck wasn't better the next time, or the time after that. McDonalds is currently sponsoring a contest entitled "Winning Time," in which you have to pull a tab off of a food item wrapper. I've been lucky in that I've won 2 out of the three times I've played. What was funny was that, on the losing piece, are the words "Sorry, Possibly Next Time."

ME AND FRED DURST..............NOT!
If you've ever been in a band you MUST know that sometimes others are jealous of you and the talent you possess. They insist on keeping you in the background and away from the spotlight. That being said, I am pleased to announce that Limp Bizkit has picked former Snot alum Mike Smith as the replacement for guitarist Wes Borland. "We really like jamming with Mike," Fred Durst told fans on the band's web site. Thank you, Fred.

WHICH WAY DID SHE GO?
Late last week, they had to close two concourses at Baltimore-Washington International Airport after a woman set off a metal detector and walked away. That's right. She WALKED away. According to authorities, she set off the walk through detector and was asked to go through again. She refused and just WALKED AWAY!!! Not only did she WALK AWAY, but the security guards who were right there couldn't catch her!! How in the hell can you not catch someone who is WALKING AWAY??? How do you lose sight of a woman who is just WALKING AWAY??? The check point and the two concourses it serves were closed for more then two hours and several planes had to be deplaned and the passengers rescreened. As far as I know, the woman is still WALKING AWAY at the airport. Jeesh, I'm sure glad the Federal Government took over security at our airports. I mean, if a trained government employee couldn't catch a woman WALKING AWAY, what chance did some $8.00 an hour regular Joe have?

MOVIE NOTES
"The Matrix: Reloaded" will have its premiere at the Cannes Film Festival on May 15th.

Director Joel Schumacher has hired actor Patrick Wilson for the role of Raoul in the film version of Andrew Lloyd Webber's "Phantom of the Opera." Still no word on who will play the Phantom.

Remember the late 1980's film "The Punisher," starring Dolph Lundgren? Well, Hollywood is hoping you don't. Marvel films has just announced that Thomas Jane will star in the title role in a movie due in summer 2004.

Well, that's it for now. Have a great week. See ya! (possibly)


"Mike's Rant" is ©2003 by Michael A. Smith. Webpage design and all graphics herein are creations of Nolan B. Canova. All contents of Nolan's Pop Culture Review are ©2003 by Nolan B. Canova.