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PCR #129  (Vol. 3, No. 37)  This edition is for the week of September 9--15, 2002.

La Floridiana by Will Moriaty
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Twisted Illusions
Joel Wynkoop's artwork adorns the cover of this promo copy of "Twisted Illusions 2"
Video review--a Florida independent film:
"The Part" and "Time for Dessert"

Faithful NCPCR readers will recall the gala "Twisted Illusions 2 Wrap Party and Sneak Preview Movie Showing" that fearless editor Nolan Canova and I attended on August 24, 2002 at the Comfort Suite in Brandon as featured in NCPCR Issue #127 of two weeks ago. Well now, let's review one of the primary reasons for that event--the movies themselves!

Twisted Illusions Inc. in association with Pesh Productions And Wynkoop Productions and M. Catherine Holseybrook present

"The Part"
(2002. To be released in 2003 as "Twisted Illusions 2")

Starring:Also...
M. Catherine Holseybrook- Dr. Brooks
Gustavo Perez- Dr. Bloch
Mark A Nash- Eddie Lincoln
Kevin Bangos- Dooley Lincoln
Martial Arts Dude- Alberto Castillo
Parise- Kathy Castillo
MoniqueChavez- Zulmali Gonzalez
Eva Thibedeau- Toni Taylor
Anita Wad- Rebecca Holycross
Tina Nash
Emily Page
Tina Frankl
Guerdy Claimon
Richard Sousa

And Featuring Joel D. Wynkoop as Timothy Ballard
Music by: R.M. Hoopes (Elevator II Studios)
Edited by: Tim Ritter
Produced and Directed by: Joel D. Wynkoop

This short vignette starts out with a black and white videotape from mental health specialist Dr. Siedow showing the crazed rantings of one Timothy Ballard, masterfully portrayed by veteran Florida Folk Hero and actor Joel D. Wynkoop. Ballard has just been admitted to the Sunnyville Mental Institution in sunny Florida after being caught in association with several horrific murders.

Seven years later, after intensive counseling, therapy and drugs, Timothy Ballard is basically reduced to a nerdy nincompoop presumably not capable of harming a flea. Doctors Brooks (played by M. Catherine Holseybrook) and Bloch (played by Florida Folk Hero and actor Gus Perez) have a send-off party for Tim, and Dr. Bloch (head) dumbly announces to Tim: "Seven years ago you were stark raving mad! All you talked about was slashing people's throats! You've come a long way in the past seven years. The world is your oyster! Follow your dreams." Just what is Tim's dream? "I want to be an actor like William Shatner or Clint Eastwood. I'm gonna make a million dollars!" With those words, Timothy Ballard, former throat-slasher-come-nerdy nincompoop hits the bricks headed for the Lincoln Brothers Productions audition for the film "Grandma and Her Chainsaw".

The audition sequence is hilarious. In his most comedic acting job to date, Mark A. Nash plays the sleazy, leering film producer Eddie Lincoln. Whenever an aspiring young starlet appears for audition, he spouts such gibberish as "Could you read that taking your top off?" or "Would you drop your dress when reading that?" "YOU PIG!" responds one of the female auditioners, followed by "NEXT!"

Actor Nash, and fellow actor Kevin Bangos, who plays film producer brother Dooley Lincoln, are both outstanding in their roles, Last in line to audition is Timothy Ballard. He finds the lines initially difficult to read because they are "I'M GONNA KILL YOU BASTARDS-YOU KILLED MY GRANDMA, NOW WHERE'S HER CHAINSAW?!!" He initially found these lines to be difficult, but after the sleaze king Lincoln Brothers whip Ballard into frenzy; he became quite comfortable in reciting the lines. One could say it was old home week for former throat-slasher-come-nerdy nincompoop, Timothy Ballard.

Eddie Lincoln promises Ballard "I'll make you a star like Jack Nicholas in the Shining!" Dooley kicks in, "Be scary! Go out and practice being scary! Can you go out and act the manuscript? We'll see you in three weeks." "Oh boy! Oh boy!" Ballard responds nerdishly. "I'm gonna be a big movie star!"

The Lincoln Brothers reinforce and encourage Ballard to "Just practice for the part!"

And he will do just that.

This is both a humorous and intense movie in the best Wynkoop style with a great musical score at the end. Shot on location on Brandon, Ft. Pierce, Port St. Lucie and Sunnyville, Florida, and New York, New York, Trenton, New Jersey and Richmond, Virginia.


Twisted Illusions Inc. and M. Catherine Holseybrook present
A Joel D. Wynkoop Production

"Time for Dessert" (2002. To be released in 2003 as "Finishing Up")

Starring:
M. Catherine Holseybrook-
The Vixen
Gustavo Perez- Horney Harvey
Kevin Bangos- Joe Cool
Femme Boy- Chris Hurban
Special Appearance by Joel D. Wynkoop- Urban Cowboy
Executive Producer- Allen Smithee (so who doth take credit?)
Editing and Post Production by Angelo Martin Jr.
Written, Produced and Directed by: Joel D. Wynkoop
Set Design- Anastasia Beaverhausen
Set Security- Cope Ransom (10 points go to any loyal Joel D. Wynkoop fan or NCPCR reader who can tell me from what movie this character came from)

A red Mitsubishi sports car pulls into the parking lot of Regency Square Mall in Brandon, Florida with a young lady who lustfully looks at a young man sitting on a bench while licking her lips and sensuously uttering "...Yummy...I love men!"

She sets her sights on one Joe Cool, played by actor Kevin Bangos. In the process she walks right past Horney Harvey, featuring Gus Perez in his best and most humorous character to date. Like something out of a Three Stooges short or a Pink Panther movie, Harvey sneaks between columns and hides behind walls stalking the Vixen as she steals away Joe Cool to her little red Mitsubishi.

"Wow! Nice car!" exclaims Joe Cool (and others afterwards). The vixen starts to smoochies and Harvey starts to whining "OOOOOOH SHE'S KISSIN' 'IM!!! I COULDDA HAD SOME OF THAT!!!"

The Vixen becomes Horney Harvey's obsession. He stalks her and her "johns" to her hotel room, peeking through the room's keyhole, and starts dreaming about her. One of his dreams is rudely interrupted when someone rings his cell phone with the wrong number. Hilariously after answering, Harvey holds the phone away from himself pointing it toward the room exclaiming "NO! THERE'S NO STEVE NAKODA HERE-SEE? SEE?"

But after more Looney Toons-like sneaking around, Horney Harvey's dream of scoring with his fantasy girl Vixen is about to come true--he'll get his dream fulfilled all right--and a lot more than he bargained for.

Filmed entirely in Brandon, Florida, do not expect a masterpiece here--this was meant to be a slap-stick, cheesy entry in the same vein as a "Plan Nine from Outer Space', only it's much funnier and mercifully shorter.


"La Floridiana" is ©2002 by William Moriaty.  Webpage design and all graphics herein (except where otherwise noted) are creations of Nolan B. Canova.  All contents of Nolan's Pop Culture Review are ©2002 by Nolan B. Canova.