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COUCH POTATO BattleStar Melodramatica by Vinnie Blesi | ||
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A sardonic commentary on America’s favorite pastime. |
BattleStar Melodramatica The first five minutes looked promising with two cool looking Cylons, but the Cylons were nowhere to be seen the rest of the series(until the closing minute). Instead the Cylons have now implanted their consciousness into human bodies. What a cheap way to cut down on the special effects budget.
Of course, the body they chose just happens to be a sexy blonde, with a low cut dress, and voila, within the first 15 minutes we have our first sex scene. Lorne Greene is turning over in his grave and poor Richard Hatch (Apollo), who has been trying to get the series remade for years but has been snubbed by the studios, would be too if he wasn’t alive.
So first they rip off “Species”, then they rip off “Blade Runner”, as the Cylons return to destroy their makers! Of course last we saw of mankind I thought they were roaming the universe but I guess they found a new planet in the last 20 years. And I thought the Cylons were there own race, not one built by mankind. http://staff.bus.bton.ac.uk/fesg/bsg/cylons/cylon_origins.html
In this remake Starbuck is an insubordinate tough cigar-smoking woman, ala, Ripley. Another original idea! After another sex scene the Cylons attack mankind and the story breaks down into a series of melodramas between the characters that are to boring to mention here.
After watching this series I am totally confused as to who the Cylons are, how they are now implanted into people, and what the whole point of this series was. Because at the end mankind’s home world is destroyed and they are left as a wandering convoy in space, just like the original series. Do I smell another mini-series in the works? You betcha, and next time lets make it 6 hours long, ‘cause 4 hours of mindless melodrama just ain't enough for me.
P.S. To the producers: Next time could you include some real Cylons? Thanks.
Links:
The first word I think of when I hear “mini-series” is BORING. How else can you extend two hours of programming into 4 or 6 hours of commercial time? I never made it through the whole Dune mini-series on Sci-Fi channel but I made myself sit through the new “Battlestar Galactica” mini-series that premiered this week.
http://www.battlestargalactica.com
http://www.richardhatch.com
"Couch Potato Confessions" is ©2003 by Vinnie B.. Couch Potato main graphic by Vin Blesi and Nolan Canova. Webpage design and all graphics herein (except where otherwise noted) are creations of Nolan B. Canova. All contents of Nolan's Pop Culture Review are ©2003 by Nolan B. Canova.