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Vinnie Vidi Vici There can’t be anything better than a 50-ton sperm whale exploding in the streets of Taiwan due to a build up of internal gases, getting revenge on sushi eaters. Blubber justice? The rumors of mysteriously impregnated Taiwanese women who were in the vicinity have yet to be verified. If their children are born with pure white hair and glowing eyes be very afraid (of another John Carpenter movie that is). We know that something stinks in Japan (and it ain’t whale) when the minor league baseball team Tampa Bay Devil Rays goes to Japan so the NY Yankees can have some batting practice. The crowds seemed to enjoy the games, pointing to the Devil Rays emblem on their uniforms and shouting, “Umm, more sushi”. “Get your hot dogs, get your peanuts, get your sushi here”, yelled the stadium vendors.
And speaking of Armageddon, have you noticed that Virgin Mary sightings have gotten as scarce as a Dick Cheney sighting ever since the millennium? In an effort to piss off everyone, PETA is having an ad campaign for Easter showing the Cow Pope, http://www.peta.org/feat/cowpope/cowpope.html, with a crucified cow on his staff. Hey guys, Mel Gibson already has that market cornered. Meanwhile, a Mel Gibson spokesperson has denied that Jim Caviezel has been in Hollywood turning wine into Evian.
Following our Mel Gibson theme, I tried to watch “Signs”. What a pretentious director this M. Night guy is. If there is a directing clique he is going to use it. Mel Gibson is tying his shoe; lets make it into a 5-minute dramatic scene. But, what I am really waiting for are the 3 planned sequels to “Passion of Christ” which are scheduled to star Joe Pesci, Danny Glover and Rene Russo. Who knew that a cross could be such a lethal weapon?
Warning: the following contains satirical content and celebrity parodies and is meant for entertainment purposes only.
"Vinnie Vidi Vici" is ©2004 by Vinnie B.. Vinnie Vidi Vici main graphic is a creation of Vinnie Blesi. Webpage design and all graphics herein (except where otherwise noted) are creations of Nolan B. Canova. All contents of Nolan's Pop Culture Review are ©2004 by Nolan B. Canova.