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Established A.D. 2000, March 19. Now in our seventh calendar year!
Number 351 (Vol. 7, No. 50). This edition is for the week of December 11--17, 2006.
By Nolan B. Canova So, this is a difficult review for me to write. Difficult because of various parameters that disqualify this exhibition as anything other than a screening. Difficult also because I've known most of the players for years and don't know how to break in criticism that won't immediately be rejected as "well, the movie isn't done yet". That being said, although Dark Dimensions has been at least a year in the making (closer to two counting writing and pre-production) and involved seemingly hundreds of talented and dedicated people, whatever is left to put into the movie is second priority to what needs to be adjusted to the somewhat confusing business that's already there.
ARRIVING... As we ate, the place got populated quickly, as we spotted several familiar CP staples. Tim Gordon from the Doubletree Conventions was one surprise. CP Assistants Doug and Wanda Vaters were milling around and, as always, were very friendly. Nick Cuti (pronounced "cutty"), former comics writer for Warren magazines (CP's "GRUB" is based on his story from Creepy magazine) was lurking around, dressed for Oscar night. A pleasant surprise was seeing video editor/airline pilot, Mike Bronson, who I haven't seen since our heavy metal days when he was a guitarist for John Lewis's band, Black Velvet. Missing was CP Exec Producer Phil Frank who was attending his daughter's recital of The Nutcracker.
John then took center stage, a place he always feels at home (which prompted him to belt out a few heavy metal lyrics), told a little history (including his involvement with our band BLADE, thanks John!) and made his personal introduction to Dark Dimensions as "about a book....but it's a hell of a book".
(If that sounds familiar, there are several elements in Dark Dimensions that may remind you of previous movies with similar themes. More on that in a bit.)
AND AWAY WE GO... Back in modern day, it is established that there is a used-book store in St. Pete called "Dark Dimensions". It is owned and operated by Darrel Roberts (Andrew Vingo). Meanwhile, a gangster related to the bookstore owner, mob boss Tony Bedario (Al Rosenthal), sends his boys to a NY City auction to bid on the newly-discovered ancient book. It falls to Darrel and one of his customers, a pudgy young goth girl named Wendy Warren (Natasha Raabe), to facilitate translation of the book.
Terence and I were in disagreement about what the translation was supposed to accomplish. I could've sworn the mob boss (I like to call him "Fat Tony", after the Simpsons character of the same name) said it was about unlimited power. Terence said it was established through another character that it was about robbing heaven of its treasures, i.e., pulling a heist!
Introduced along the way is a seedy mercenary type, "Louis", played with charateristically devilish aplomb by Joel D. Wynkoop, who is also after the book, but we couldn't exactly figure out why or how he figures into the plot. Joel, as always, manages to steal every scene he's in. (His character is a pop-eye type, so cracks one-eye jokes like, "You might say...I'm keeping my EYE on the situation...HAHAHAHAHAHAAH!") Confusing or not, he makes the most of it.
Erica Heflin plays Vingo's patient girlfriend Peggy. Strangely, Erica, a very attractive girl in real life, is subjected to the least flattering angles possible, rendering her character almost plain.
McKae Dietrich plays Amy Garrett who also is involved in helping Vingo's character. She initially claimed to be a reporter and has some weird connection to Wynkoop, otherwise I've forgotten her significance. Her high, squeaky Betty Boop voice was very distracting in taking her character seriously.
The most confusing thing none of us could figure out (or remember) was how did the FBI get involved in the story? CP staple Nick Cuti plays the local FBI chief who's out to get....the mobster, I guess. How they were alerted we're not sure, but it led to some gratuitous gunplay near the film's end. For those of you familiar with The Incredible Hulk comics, Cuti is the spitting image of General "Thunderbolt" Ross.
Speaking of the FBI, the strongest performer besides Wynkoop and Rosenthal was (I hope I got this right) Darla Delgado as an FBI agent, sent after Wynkoop. Not sure where I've seen her before, but I think I have.
FINAL THOUGHTS... There are some obvious salutes to past films, some may not be so obvious or may be unintentional:
Terence noticed that Tony's secretary's wardrobe changed from shot to shot. (I could swear hair color changed on McKae Dietrich, too.)
If memory serves, the opening sword fight was filmed in a wooded area near Orlando with local members of the Society for Creative Anachronism. There is a film look on some scenes (including faux scratches) but not on others. When I brought this up to John I got a vacant stare. Doug Vaters indicated some effects weren't in place yet.
Terence and I continued to argue whether this was all about "gangsters sticking up heaven". I think it was about a power grab.
At one point a different portal is opened that is not heaven. No explanation, at least none clear enough as to why, was offered. (After the screening, the Lewises merely commented it was "another dimension". John added a CGI dragon is to be inserted later.)
Audio problems are being addressed. In some shots with Wynkoop, female actors were completely inaudible.
Cast and crew credit misspellings are being addressed.
FINAL SHOCKER "HEY! Were either of you in those movies?"
Gus and Terence look at each other. "No..."
Cuti: "OK, THEN (snatches the discs out of their hands) and says, "NICE TRY, GUYS! NICE TRY!"
There was no sign or announcement that these were for cast and crew only. Now, I know our foul reputation precedes us, but to be treated as high school shoplifters by the still-in-character Nick Cuti was insulting.
As he followed us out to the car, John had little to say about the incident except I'd get a copy of Dark Dimensions when it's done.
Irrespective of the Cuti incident, on the way home, Terence and Gus had little positive praise for Dark Dimensions (Gus has so many axes to grind with the Lewises, his opinion barely counts anyway). But they can write their own columns.
I think the main ideas in the movie are great. I'm a sucker for this kind of screenplay. We just need to tighten things waaaaaay up!
All contents of Nolan's Pop Culture Review are ©2006 by Nolan B. Canova.
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